Disney Production, I have a film idea for you!
Before anyone else starts writing story ideas to you, let me pitch an idea for your new Disney animation film. It is based on Rupert Murdoch and the News Corporation saga, and my working title is “The Tale of the Zoo”.
By the way, I have checked with my reliable Wiki sources, that your company has no ties with Mr Rupert Murdoch. I am now pretty sure that you are not part of the “denial gang” – those who deny that their jobs are unethical, and those who are delusional enough to believe that hacking phones and bribing police are part of “freedom of expression” or "First Amendment".
Now that we are clear about where we both stand, I will waste no more of your time and start with the characters. Rupert Murdoch should be portrayed as a fox. It goes without saying the reason why. If not for the cunning qualities of this animal, then choose this character because of the name of your competitor in television network that Mr Murdoch owns.
Supporting characters. Before the Commons select committee hearing, I was going to suggest Rebekah the cheetah. But now I changed my mind. It should be Wendi the Siamese cat who is secretly a ninja. Before you protest, yes I know that ninjas are from Japan and Siamese cats, as the name suggested, are from Thailand in South East Asia. However, your general viewer would only associate the two as being Oriental. So there you go. Wendi the Siamese cat who has been training secretly as a ninja is the first supporting role.
It is rather difficult to decide what animal should portray the son of Rupert the fox. I suggest we should stick to fox (we might confuse children if a fox has a son who is not a fox). So we have our next character, James the fox.
The story should be consistent with Disney’s values. It will teach children to discern between right and wrong. It will have a comforting end that show how the antagonist role will end up being humiliated, shamed and lost everything that he gained through dishonesty.
In the spirit of educating our children about moral and ethics, we shall show how Rebekah the cheetah under Rupert the fox paid the private investigator weasels to have a nose around other animals’ businesses. To get more stories, Rebekah the cheetah ordered the journalist bears to get close to the chimps that are trusted to enforce the law of their zoo. Among the bears is Sean the big gentle bear who later felt so guilty of his unethical job that he quit and hide into a big cave. We never saw Sean the bear anymore. We will not show that the bear was later found dead, unexplained but not suspicious – no, we should not upset our children viewers.
The chimps started their job as law enforcers with honesty and dignity. They are very clever creatures. However, a few top chimps found it easier to get food by being friendly with the cheetah and the foxes. So there they go, having lunches together, the foxes, the cheetah, and the chimps. The chimps got to know the bears who were so good at their job, that the head chimp employed a bear to be their public relation consultant. The bear’s job is to write positive stories about the chimps. Mutually benefited, the chimps happily handed over to the bears secret information from their office. The transactions were supervised secretly by the cheetah and the foxes. Both cheetah and the two foxes always hid behind bushes whenever a transaction took place.
The foxes also befriended the hyenas. This is of course for the greater good, to keep the zoo in peace. After a few lunches together, David the lead hyena said to the foxes, “I really like your friends. In fact, I want to hire your ex-employee, Andy the weasel.” So Mr Hyena became very good friend with Andy the weasel. They stood by each other, even after Andy the weasel was arrested by the law enforcer chimps.
The corporation of the foxes suddenly got into trouble when the rest of the zoo’s citizens found out that they had been ears dropping messages left for a cute little puppy who was lost and later found dead. The lions, the elephants, the macaques, the penguins, even the fishes in the pond demanded an answer for what happened in their lovely and peaceful zoo.
The hyenas decided that they will summon the foxes and the cheetah to their grand hearing. At the hearing, the foxes completely denied any knowledge of their secret cooperation with the chimps. Father fox, Rupert, said that he felt so humbled. Still, he blamed his bears and his weasels for the wrongdoing. “I am only an old fox who run so many companies, I am not aware of what my weasels and my bears did.” While tired old father fox gave his testimony, his wife Wendi the Siamese cat was caringly sitting behind him, pouring his drink and patting his back lovingly.
As the hearing was about to finish, a little mouse jumped out from the crowd. Jonathan the mouse had a plate of mud pie on his hand. He jumped to Rupert the fox and threw his mud pie to Rupert’s face. Everyone was so shocked, even the security chimps are dumb folded. Only one animal was not off guard: Wendi the Siamese cat – remember that she is secretly a ninja! Wendi lunged to Jonathan the mouse, hit him with her right paw and then threw what left of the mud pie back onto Jonathan’s face. Wendi the Siamese cat saved Rupert the fox’s face.
We fade this scene into a zoo song – preferably sung by Sir Elton John, or maybe Alison Krauss or Dixie Chicks for a change. The extras – cute macaques, big elephants, clumsy hippos, cheeky penguins, even fishes in the pond – are all singing and dancing as the cunning fox are now shamed. The hyenas who had been ruling the zoo corruptly was exiled. The zoo elected a new wise leader: Zimba the lion (this on the condition that we can ask our now grown lion from Lion King to come back as a zoo lion).
The zoo retained its peace and happy state, and all the animals live happily ever after. Well, except the foxes and the cheetah who have to spend the rest of their live in a far corner of the zoo next to the rubbish bins where no visitor would go.
I hope you like my film idea. Please do not hesitate to contact me at any time. Like all independent film makers, I have no power whatsoever to say no to any contract that you make me sign.